Sidelined (Game On Book 3) Read online

  “Can you believe this is happening?” Will asked, wrapping his arms around Freya. I peered around the box I’d just unpacked to watch them.

  “No,” Freya answered, grinning. “It’s been a long time coming!”

  “Well there’ll be no more waiting now.” Will paused to kiss her. “From now on I’ll be here all the time. You’re stuck with me.”

  Freya made a face, supposedly of mock horror; she was way too happy to pull it off.

  Another ripple of envy rushed over me. I didn’t usually do envy. Not ever, yet recently it had happened twice. I hated the anger jealousy created inside me.

  “What shall we do later when everyone’s gone?” Will asked, pressing his forehead against Freya’s. “You wanna go out for dinner? Someplace romantic?”

  Freya shook her head, somehow managing to not break contact. “Takeout, wine a movie, and-”

  “Oh, excuse me.” I stood up, waving my hands in the air. “Before you start with the dirty talk, may I remind you, I am here.”

  Their heads turned in my direction and we all laughed. “Sorry.” Freya kissed Will again then somewhat reluctantly moved away from him. “We’d better get back to work or there’ll be no time for-”

  “Seriously!” I said. “Save the make out session for later.”

  Freya high-fived me as she stepped out of the kitchen and went back to the bedroom where she and Leah were sorting out Will’s clothes.

  “You guys!” I giggled.

  “Nauseating, aren’t we?”

  “Adorable. You’re both adorable.”

  He groaned. “Bree, you’re killing me! I used to hate this sappy crap.”

  “And now you’re living together it’ll get worse.”

  “Right? Only a matter of time before I propose.”

  I knew he was kidding, sort of, but my grin widened anyway. Okay, so Leah wasn’t getting married but maybe Will and Freya would soon!

  “Take that smirk off your face.” Will laughed. “It won’t be for a while. We gotta see how living together works out first.”

  “Sure. But you’ve thought about proposing?”

  Will nodded in confirmation, his eyes losing their teasing quality. “What do you think? Am I good enough for her? A suitable husband for one of your best friends?”

  I squealed and threw my arms around him. “You are the only person for her.”

  “Thanks, Bree,” Will said, returning my hug. “Now. Let’s get this unpacking done. I’m on a promise tonight!”

  We did all we could do in a few hours. All we left were Will’s personal belongings; he didn’t want us rummaging through his old yearbooks so we began to file out of Freya’s apartment.

  Jesse, Leah, Radleigh, and I were the first to make our way outside. Freya came down to say goodbye, and while everyone around me chatted, I stopped to do a double take as an unwelcome presence walked towards us. Seriously? Now she shows up?

  Leah and Freya followed my gaze, and Leah was the first to speak. “Are you kidding me? Taylor?”

  Taylor’s eyes fell on me, and when she spotted Leah, they widened for a second. It wasn’t like she didn’t know Leah would be back soon. She and Radleigh had been splashed all over the news right after my party, the first time they were seen out together in L.A. Was that why she’d been calling me so persistently? To get the gossip? And how did she even figure out where we were?

  “Well, well, well,” she said as she approached. “Look at you all back together again. Good to see you, Leah.”

  To her credit, Leah kept her mouth shut but I couldn’t. “Taylor, please. Give her a break.”

  She held up her hands. “Did I do anything? Actually, I want to talk to you. Since we spoke earlier, I think we should arrange to go out sometime.”

  My friends’ stares scorched my skin. I hardly blamed them for shooting puzzled glances my way. But, really. As if I’d associate with that skank again.

  Jesse was the person I worried about the most. Taylor hadn’t even acknowledged his presence even though she couldn’t have missed him with a massive cast on his leg, and holding crutches. His gaze turned cold as he stared at her.

  “We didn’t speak earlier,” I said. “I told you to leave me alone.”

  “Whatevs, I still think we should get together soon.”

  “I disagree,” I told her, and Radleigh stepped in front of me.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “I… I was in the area.”

  Radleigh glared at her and she ducked her head and left without another word, smart enough not to test him. My shoulders sagged with the relief she’d gone but she obviously hadn’t taken my hints. She must have followed one of us. How else would she have found us so easily? I suppose it might have been a coincidence, I mean, the beach was right there but… God, if she started stalking Radleigh again I’d kill her myself.

  Radleigh turned to me in full-on protective mode. “Have you been talking to her?”

  Like Jude, he assumed me too weak to make my own responsible decisions, and being treated like a mentally deficient loser was getting old.

  “No! She keeps calling me. The only times I’ve spoken to her have been to tell her to stop.”

  “Bree, can I talk to you?” Jesse asked, his eyes still icy, and I nodded.

  I hadn’t done anything wrong, yet everyone judged me. I heard their thoughts as if they were being screamed out loud. There goes Bree, the gullible idiot, making friends with Taylor again.

  I picked up my purse and we walked back towards Freya’s apartment, down the short alleyway leading to the beach. The whole way, I rummaged through my bag, checking I had everything I came with. Phone, wallet, keys, make-up. All good.

  “Jesse, I’m not going to hang out with her, I swear. I wouldn’t.”

  I zipped up my purse and when I looked up at him, he nodded. “I know.”

  “You do?”

  “Bree, you’ve been there for me more than anyone since I had the operation. You’d never go out of your way to talk to her.”

  “Then why-?”

  Jesse wriggled one of his arms free from his crutch and took my hand. “If Taylor’s bothering you, you can talk to me. If she gets too much I’ll… I don’t know, I’ll help you get a restraining order to keep her away. But you need to tell me if she crosses too many lines.”

  I really thought he’d bitch me out. Instead, he’d given me reassurance and offered to help me when the last thing he wanted was to have anything to do with her. No matter how rough things got for him he’d still risk making himself uncomfortable if it meant helping someone else.

  “Thank you, Jesse.”

  I had the strangest inkling my other friends wouldn’t let this go so easily. And Jude. Well, we weren’t on the best terms since the night before when I’d asked him if I could get some education. We were talking but still sort of strained.

  Jesse tilted his head to one side. “You okay?”

  I shrugged. “Can we… well, I know you can’t walk too far but I’m not ready to face everyone yet.”

  “I get it. They were giving you the look they gave me last year, like, ‘Is he really going to be able to stay away from that bitch?’ Come on.”

  He took a hold of his crutches again and we circled Freya’s building and stepped into the small communal garden at the back of the property.

  I’d never been inside the garden before. I’d seen it from Freya’s apartment but the sea behind always distracted me so I never took much notice. The garden was cute. All terracotta slabs and palm trees.

  “You wanna tell me what’s up?” Jesse asked as we sat down on one of the benches.

  “How can you tell something’s up?”

  “I have magical powers.”

  I laughed in spite of my feelings that my world had started to crumble around me. How could I explain I’d started to feel like an outsider in my own life? Like I wasn’t living anymore, just existing day to day.

  “Last night I asked Jude if I
could take a make-up course so I can get a job so I don’t have to rely on him as much. He didn’t take it too well.”

  I guess that’s how.

  “Why not? Sounds like an awesome idea. You get to do something you love, and you won’t be stuck at home all the time. Win-win.”

  “Right. But Jude… well I’m not sure if he’s against it but because Leah suggested it he’s got the idea I’m pressing this thing because she said I should.”

  Jesse gave a knowing smile. “He’s still not over the Leah/Miguel thing, huh? I guess you wanting to do this came a little out of nowhere, though.”

  True. I’d never talked about learning or getting a job. It surprised me, too. I hadn’t realised how much sense it made until Leah said the words. Me. Make-up. People! I’d meet new people, maybe some more my own age. I loved the friends I already had so much but most other people had friends they knew before or outside of the Warriors. The few friends I’d made in whatever town I happened to live in as a teenager forgot about me as soon as my cab drove out of sight.

  “Is everything okay between you and Jude?”

  I nodded slowly. “I think so. Yeah. Sometimes I get frustrated when he treats me like a bimbo who can’t make up my own mind.” I paused. “Did I ever tell you how I met Jude?”

  Stupid question. I knew I hadn't told him. Will, Miguel and Freya were the only ones who knew, and only because they'd been Jude's friends the longest. Even Leah hadn’t heard the whole truth yet. I actually suspected more people on the team had heard a little of the story, and what they didn't know they filled in - often incorrectly - for themselves.

  My biggest mistake was telling Taylor. My stomach clenched as I remembered how she’d used my past as a way to hurt me when everyone turned against her after what she did to Radleigh. I’m not ashamed to admit I cried over some of the things she said and it terrified me how she had the power to spill who I used to be. Having people draw their own conclusions was one thing; I didn’t need their approval anyway. But if they knew the truth? Things would go one of two ways. They’d look at me with pity, or the real story would “confirm” their assumptions about me.

  Jesse wasn’t like that. Not like Taylor or the other people making blind guesses about me and my reasons for being with Jude.

  Jesse shook his head. “I don't think I ever asked you.”

  “When people ask, I say I met him at a party. That's not true.”

  He sat up straighter, possibly sensing my slight discomfort. Why couldn’t Jude be so in tune with me? Jesse picked up on emotions the way cats pick up scents. Instinctively and fast.

  “You don't have to tell me. Not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

  “I want to tell you. It’s not a pleasant story, though.”

  “Okay.” He shuffled towards me a little. “If you want to stop or change your mind, that's okay.”

  I took a deep breath, doubting myself for a split second. Jesse will not judge you. He’s a sweetheart. Even so, explaining my past meant giving a small piece of myself to the person listening. I’d kept those pieces locked away for years. Sharing my memories meant I had to open up in a different way, a way that would surprise a lot of people if they had any idea what I hid inside me.

  “I didn't grow up in a very conventional way. I mean, I did for part of my life. My parents... I loved them so much. I think the reason I'm usually so upbeat is because of them. You know how you call me sunshine?” Jesse nodded. “Well, they were sunny people. Especially my mom. But when I was twelve, my dad got sick. He had cancer. He died two years later, and Mom fell apart. Her eyes didn’t sparkle anymore, like someone had turned off the light behind them.” The memory of how her brown eyes dulled after my dad’s death brought a chill to me. I hated how that was the first thing I remembered when I thought of her, when she used to be… well, like me. A lovable ditz. “I tried so hard to bring her out of it, to get the light back. I couldn’t. Exactly one year after my dad died I found her hanging from the light fitting when I got home from school.”

  Jesse drew in a sharp intake of breath and reached for my hand. I shook my head, trying to pull away but he wouldn’t let go. His fingers closed around mine and held tightly while I attempted to force the image of my mom’s lifeless body out of my mind. It hadn’t told this story in so long. So long since I saw her like that. The image haunted my nightmares for years.

  “I didn’t know what to do,” I went on, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “So I screamed. I kept on screaming until the neighbours called the police. I had nowhere to go so I got shunted around to foster homes until I was seventeen. Some of the homes I stayed in were great. They helped me deal with what I’d been through. Some of them didn’t care, didn’t even talk to me. At seventeen, I ran away from my last foster home and started living rough.”

  Jesse’s eyes widened the way I imagined everyone’s would if they heard about my life. I didn’t want any pity; that was one of the reasons I never talked about it. People looked down on me already, or treated me like a small, lost child. Inside, part of me was still trapped in my house of horrors as a fifteen-year-old, but living alone so young made me grow up faster than anyone should.

  “Where did you go?”

  “The scary parts of the city. Places where grown men don’t want to go alone.”

  “Weren’t you scared?”

  I nodded. “Every day. I kept to myself for a few weeks. I went to shelters for food, and stayed there some nights. After a while I made… friends. Not the kind of friends I wanted or needed, though. They took me in. There were six of us, two guys and four girls. Didn’t take me long to realise the girls were hookers, and the guys expected me to join them. I refused to go down that road so they had me ‘help’ in other ways.”

  Jesse’s hand grew cold in mine but he didn’t let go. I looked up at him with a sad smile. “You want me to stop?”

  He shook his head. “Not unless you want to.”

  “I’m okay. I can keep going.”

  He squeezed my hand again and I continued, “I didn’t stay with those guys for long, because of Jude. Even if it weren’t for him, I’d have gotten away somehow. I hope. They wanted me to steal cars for them. They made me watch them, learn how to do it. My first big night, we were in an underground car park. It was real late and a Dodge Viper was the only car left. God only knows why anyone with a Dodge Viper would be dim enough to park in such a crappy place. It should have been easy but I couldn’t. The two guys yelled at me, threatening to kill me if I didn’t, but no part of me is a thief. When I refused, they dragged me into the middle of the car park and started hitting me.”

  I closed my eyes, transporting myself back to that day. The day that changed my life.

  “You’re gonna pay for this!”

  DJ, the huge bulky guy with a bald head, punched me square in the jaw, stunning me so I couldn’t even scream. I felt my jaw crack and hoped to God it wasn’t broken. Who would fix the broken jaw of a girl with no cash? Lew, the one person in the group I’d been idiotic enough to trust, hit me in the stomach, and this time I cried out, doubling over. DJ laughed.

  “You think you call the fucking shots around here? We’ve taken care of you for weeks and you’ve given us nothing!”

  I screamed as he took a handful of my hair and pulled me up to look into his blazing eyes. “You’re a worthless piece of shit and you will pay for everything we’ve given you.”

  He slapped me across the face while Lew grabbed my waist. “Wanna have some fun with her?” he asked.

  “That’s exactly what we’re gonna do.”

  “No,” I murmured, breathless from being hit so hard. “Please.”

  Lew promised I’d be safe. Promised nothing would happen to me as long as I did this one thing, but I thought he’d understand. I thought he cared. I was an idiot for thinking I meant anything more to them than someone to help with their criminal activity.

  Stupid, Bree! They tried to pimp you out, remember?

  But Lew had bee
n sweet. Got DJ to back off when he got too heavy with me. It was all a ploy. To soften me up, make me trust them so I’d do whatever they asked.

  DJ pushed me back into the parked car, causing a sharp pain to shoot up my back. He held me in place while Lew punched my stomach hard again then gripped my throat. I trembled so much I couldn’t move. Couldn’t stop them. Everything hurt, and as his hand tightened around my neck, I prayed he’d just kill me because I didn’t want to suffer anymore. I looked into his blue eyes, hoping to find some kindness. Hoping to find something in him that had been genuine, to show me I wasn’t wrong.

  Instead, he spat in my face, hitting me while DJ tugged at the waistband of my jeans. I tried to fight but all strength had gone, shutting down from the pain. Rough hands grabbed at my bare hips, and vomit crept up my throat as he fumbled with his zipper.

  “No,” I said, tears finally falling down my cheeks. “No, please.”

  I shook so hard, trying to find the strength to fight. To push through the pain. I couldn’t. Every blow, the sensation of Lew’s hands creeping up my shirt while DJ kicked my ankles apart was another strip of my drive and determination being torn away from me.

  “Hey!”

  The hands holding me loosened, and a stronger person would have let the adrenaline kick in and run. Not me. My legs barely held me up. In fact, DJ pinning me to the car was the only reason I remained on my feet.

  I heard footsteps running across the empty parking lot and I squeezed my eyes closed. Whoever shouted had spared me for a few minutes longer, until they pummelled him into the ground and came back to finish what they started.

  “What the fuck are you doing?”

  I didn’t want to see what happened next. Instead of shouts and the sound of fists flying, I fell to the floor as Lew and DJ released me, and two sets of footsteps sped away.

  “Whoa,” the strange voice said, trying to catch me. Too late. I’d already hit the ground, still vibrating with fear and sobs, jeans around my knees.

  Fingers touched my cheek. I tried to pull away from him, tried to struggle out of his reach.